BabiesEverywhere & I had a very interesting conversation yesterday about a subject that is very close to my heart. It was sparked by the shocking behaviour of her manager and director at work, explained very well over at her blog. We were talking about how becoming pregnant and having kids really changes your outlook on life. I know that many of my readers are Mummies and Daddies themselves so perhaps this will strike a chord with you too.
I certainly don’t mean to include all non-parents in my observations. I know for a fact that there are many sympathetic people who understand how things change when you become a parent and are more than happy to accommodate your new priorities.
However, there are people who just don’t get it.
They don’t understand how your job/career, while still important to some, is no longer your only reason to get out of bed every day. I am no longer as career-minded as I used to be. I have no intention of taking on extra responsibility simply so that I can look like a success at work and earn a few more quid. I don’t want to have to be on call outside work hours. I don’t want to have to spend nights away from home more often than I do already. I don’t want the stress and aggravation that comes with people management. This may well change as Little’un gets older, but this is the way things will be while she’s little. Truth be told, given half a chance I would work much less than I do now, as I’m sure that most of you are already aware.
I know women, some of whom I have previously called friends, who think that I am no longer ambitious as I have no intention of pushing for the next rung on the career ladder just now. One or two of them don’t understand me to the point where they’ve pretty much cut me out of their lives. I used to be terribly sad about this, but not any more. I have enough good friends without having to worry about people who only want to associate themselves with a certain category of person, into which I no longer fit.
The truth is, I am terribly ambitious, to the point of total obsession; but my ambition lies in the direction of making sure I have a great marriage, a happy daughter and a good environment, both physically and to a certain extent financially, in which to live my life. At times I have found this so much harder than being good at my day job. You don’t get 25 days annual leave and you can’t put it to one side at 5pm and leave it until 8.30 the next morning. It’s much, much more fun though and utterly rewarding.
What’s so hard to understand about that?
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