Everyone, meet my sister Sibling 3. Pop by her new blog and say hi. Don’t expect her to write in English though, she only speaks text speak .
Archive for May, 2006
Here’s a recent picture for you, taken a couple of days ago as part of my Wheel of the Year entry for May. Isn’t she growing up? She is chattering away nineteen to the dozen now and is getting really cheeky. Her hair is starting to grow properly as well, and she loves putting clips and bobbles in it, then taking them out again, then putting them in again, then taking them out again, then putting them in my hair, then putting them on her dolly, then putting them on her bear and then finally attempting to put them on the cat which generally receives a fairly frosty reception. Oh well, I suppose it makes a change from trying to force feed him raisins or orange juice.
We generally use our back door to get in and out of the house, so the front door only gets opened once a month or so when people who don’t know us ring the doorbell. So why is it that the one day that we get two visitors within an hour (someone doing a survey and our Chinese Takeaway delivery) is the day that the cat chooses to leave a huge pile of cat puke just outside the front door?
OK, so I could have cleaned it up after I opened the door the first time, but my goldfish memory struck me down and as soon as I had closed the door I forgot all about it. Until some poor unfortunate delivery person arrived with dinner.
Tasty as our Chinese meal was, I was somewhat struck with the similarity between the char siu pork in the special fried rice and regurgitated cat biscuits.
*No, not the Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfare
Following on from my declaration of war against the daisies in the lawn, a second offensive against Mother Nature has begun here at Tangerine Towers. ‘Tis nearly summer time (although you wouldn’t believe it if you looked out the window) which means that the ants have returned… I opened a kitchen cupboard yesterday morning to find some honey to put on my porridge to find that literally six million of them had infested the honey jar.
There is no way I could live in a tropical country. As a child I spent a couple of years in Hong Kong and where you’ll find a large assortment of bizarre creepy crawlies. There were spiders the size of a grown man’s hand, all sorts of multicoloured beetles, moths as big as dinner plates and little lizards called chitchats that crawled all over the walls, none of which caused me undue distress if I remember rightly. Fortunately we lived in a brand new block of flats and the cockroaches, which would have freaked me out, hadn’t yet moved in (we used to keep upturned saucers over all the drains so that they couldn’t climb up them into the flat).
These days however I like to live in an insect and arachnid free environment. I don’t mind them in the garden but HATE them in the house and will be found shuddering and muttering “Ewwwww!” when I find ants in large numbers in the kitchen. Kev has been sent on a mission to B&Q for ant powder and seeing as it isn’t raining today I am going to KILL THE LITTLE CRAWLY BASTARDS. Ha. That’ll teach ya to pinch my honey.
Oh, and did you know that if you squish an ant just right you can squish them right in half?
I missed Doctor Who last night thanks to the BBC’s Eurovision Song Contest rescheduling – I was innocently wandering round Asda wondering whether we should have a complete blowout and buy dips to go with our tube of Pringles (we know how to party on a Saturday night) blissfully unaware that getting home by 7pm would be too late to catch the start by 25 minutes…
Imagine my surprise then when Finland were kind enough to enter some Doctor Who monsters as their entry. Marvellous! And they won 😀 . Rock is not dead *tangerinecath headbangs in a manner not seen since her early twenties*.
Having drunk only two small glasses of wine and two vodkas, I wasn’t nearly pissed enough last night to get full enjoyment out of the Eurovision. I found most of the entries dull and uninspiring, in fact only the winners and the Lithuanian entry (a sort of cross between the Blues Brothers and Fat Les) stuck in my mind. I’m enjoying it far less now that the Balkan and Baltic states enter separately and vote for each other, it takes all the fun out of it, and we just don’t have enough European mates to win the thing ever again. However I will always get a perverse pleasure out of the French entries always, without fail, being sung in French and being mindnumbingly dull.
I got home from the munchies run last night in time see the Lotto Draw being overrun by protesters from Fathers 4 Justice on BBC One, and I also got to see the “Doctor Who and the Brand New Updated Shiny Cybermen” story this evening on BBC Three, followed by Top Gear turning a VW Camper Van into an amphibious car on BBC Two. All due to the unique way the BBC is funded. There are just so many reasons why British telly is the best in the world.
…yeah but no but, well you know my little brother Sibling 1 or something or nothing well there’s this whole thing coz he is mates with my mate Deckchair, you know Deckchair? Deckchair Deckchair. Geeky Deckchair. Pastey Deckchair. Deckchair & BabiesEverywhere Deckchair. Well Deckchair got his missus up the duff or something or nothing but there ain’t nothing wrong with that ANYWAY coz they’re married and it’s nothing to do with you anyway so SHUT UP or you is going to get beatings…
A very happy 30th birthday to Sibling 1, who today joins the ranks of us old gits. I would ring, but I know he’ll be out on the lash so there’s no point .
As a birthday treat, I bought him a ticket to see Little Britain Live in Sheffield last Sunday night. The trip was originally planned as a surprise for The Yorkshireman for his birthday (which is next month, but better early than never) but when I realised how close the show was to Sibling 1’s birthday I got him a ticket too, and seeing as how we would all be in Sheffield it seemed rude not to invite BabiesEverywhere and Deckchair, so the five of us went and a fine time was had by all.
We had a pre-show meal in a slightly dodgy burger/pizza joint that had run out of burgers (!) and served up my steak and eggs without any eggs (!!) but all the other restaurants near the venue were full and they don’t do beer in Burger King so we stuck it out. Matt Lucas and David Walliams didn’t disappoint, the show was laugh-out-loud funny; even BabiesEverywhere thought so and she hasn’t ever seen Little Britain on the telly, she didn’t understand what a couple of the sketches were about but laughed as hard as the rest of us at most of it.
It was lovely to have a grown up evening out, we really should make the effort to do this more often. Little’un was perfectly safe tied to her cot by the ankle with the cat to watch over her* so we could relax and enjoy ourselves guilt free.
*actually she was with her grandparents
I haven’t been around electronically speaking for a while. I’ve not even been lurking on other peoples’ blogs or any of my other usual online haunts. I feel like my right arm has been cut off as my oh-so-wonderful employers have decided that seeing as I no longer work from home, clearly I no longer need a laptop, and my baby has been mercilessly torn from my arms and spirited away 😦
We have a perfectly good desktop. You can even see the telly whilst surfing. The swivelly chair isn’t as comfy as our squashy sofa though and I can’t put my feet up whilst typing, unless I contort myself into some position that I probably won’t be able to get out of without the aid of a paramedic or a fireman with a cutting tool (slight pause whilst I have a little daydream about the possibilities of this…).
But it is time to stop sulking and get on with my internetting. Be gentle though, I’m fragile 😉
Oh, and I have been signed off work again. Apparently the continual and continuing tiredness and various physical symptoms may well mean that the happypills have stopped working and I might need some new ones. Or a lobotomy. Gah.